Do You Know Your Bride Type?

Let's shed a light on it!

Headlight

1.  Do you feel like a deer in the headlights?  Let's change that to dear in the headlights even though I think deer are very cute and sweet, too.  Maybe you feel blinded by fear or are paralyzed with indecision.  Maybe you have been stopped in your tracks by the bombardment of unwanted advice. Maybe you would just like to say "Beam me up Scotty!"

Spotlight

2.  Do you love all of the attention to be set on you?  You want nothing more than to be a prima donna, belle of the ball and it's all about you!  You are willing to push everyone aside so you can make your grand entrance during the whole planning process as well as the wedding.

Laser Beam

3.  Are you ultra focused and you know exactly what you want and you are afraid to let anyone help you?  Maybe you know exactly what you want and are blinded by the lack of a limitless budget.  You might even be doing some damage being so focused that you refuse to listen to suggestions to guide you away from costly mistakes.

Searchlight

4.  Do you feel like you need to find out who's going to get you?  Do you feel that everyone is going to rip you off?  Are you wondering where you will find the vendors that make you comfortable, match your style and fit your budget.  Maybe it feels like that there is no one out there who "gets" your vision.

Mood light 

5.  Do you want your wedding to ooze with ambience, romance and glistening light and sparkles everywhere?  You can never have enough bling.

Let's shine a light on why all of this matters!

Okay!  Why is all of this important for a wedding planner to know?  We need to know who we should suggest for vendors who get you!  I guess you could say we need to be able to find your "Vendor Type" not just find a vendor in any particular vendor category and not just someone who could do the job. Our goal is to match ideal vendors with ideal clients.  That is exactly why we like to know many vendors and stay from preferred vendor lists.

The Media is Walking Down the Wrong Aisle When it Comes to Weddings!

In a perfect world, there comes a point in time after the news media repeatedly paints an industry with a broad brush (with old dried up paint), that one of two things happens.  They either realize it's ineffective and unhelpful or they finally revisit their medium to be able to paint something that ends up as a beautiful or informative piece of work.  I'm talking about the "news" media as in the "reports" from the major networks and those that piggyback on those reports about the wedding industry.  I really don't want to call them reports because they aren't supporting fact!  Their concerns are for creating a story, not stating facts or helping consumers that they are preying upon.  Those consumers happen to be the same people that the wedding industry serves.  The media is doing a great disservice to these consumers.

One major point that the media won't point out, is that when a couple is planning a wedding for hopefully the first and only time, there is going to be a huge revelation that is bigger and it comes before sticker shock.  It's the fact that there are so many more details involved in a wedding than they imagined.  Of course, they wouldn't realize that the typical wedding employs from beginning to end (including after the wedding) a total of 16-20 vendors and sometimes more!  This shock is as big as any shock they'll get but when you add dollars to each of those categories of services, a couple very likely is going to be overwhelmed. However, it needs to be remembered to not blame the messenger.

It's time that the wedding industry was represented in a way that truly would help those seeking their services.  It's not even yesterday's news that the media sensationalizes the cost of weddings without analyzing the costs associated with each wedding vendor's services.  Let's remember that people are not forced to seek vendors for any more services than they want.  Want and need can be different to every couple when they envision their wedding.  Dare I be the one to say that this generation of typical brides and grooms has never been taught the difference between want and need?  They tend to want something as if they were entitled to it whether it fits into their budget or not...after all it is their wedding day!  Shouldn't everyone just want to provide their services below cost so that they can have the type of wedding day they want?  Well, welcome to the real world!  You can't have it both ways.  If you want cheap, you can get cheap, but if you want perfection (which is different for every couple) more attention and/or staffing is necessary.   Yes, for those reporters who can probably afford anything they want, this is the world that we and our clients deal with in reality.  FYI!  Not many wedding vendors are living high off the hog.

It goes against most couples' judgment to hire a Wedding Planner to help them work within their budget and help the couple set their priorities.  I'm talking about professional planners who come closest to knowing the wedding industry like the backs of their hands as much as anyone.  For heaven's sake "Media", don't pretend that you know your stuff when you don't!  Wedding Planners live, eat and breathe weddings and have to know a great deal about ALL of the variants of the many vendor categories.

When the media talks about services for a wedding and reception they don't know the difference between apples from oranges.  We're not talking about a holiday dinner nor a nice dinner out.  There's no comparison in the level of service which is required for a wedding.  Do you have a lengthy consultation with the chef or restaurant owner before you dine at their establishment?  Do you have special linens ordered for a dinner out?  Do you request that the background music be adjusted to only the music that you like.  Do you insist that your table have a centerpiece that only matches your favorite colors?  Do you want a deluxe invitation to inform your guests for your dinner out?  Do you insist on place cards being at everyone's special place at the table?Do you basically want the restaurant to not have any other guests there that you don't know?  Do you ask them to replace the chairs with ones that are more to your liking or ask them to cover them up?  Do you have to have a reservation or not?  Do you have to select from the menu or request everything in the kitchen that day to be just what you want?  Caterers are not operating like a grocery store or a restaurant.  It's neither a la carte style nor is it just ordering what you feel like at that moment from a short order cook.  A caterers worst nightmare is to run out of food, but I'll bet you've heard it more than once at a regular restaurant that they ran out of the special for the day. 

I think instead of the media blasting the wedding industry, they should spend 6 months prior and during the wedding season working alongside a wedding vendor and then find time for marketing and taking care of the financial responsibilities for that vendor to see what keeps them working long after the open signed has been turned around or has been shut off.  And while they're at it, don't make any plans for weekends during the entire summer.  Also don't look puzzled when you ask that particular wedding vendor "Why in the heck do you do this?" and their response is "Because I love it!"

As always...

Wishing you the greatest of Days!

Janis Flagg opened and co-owns Greatest of Days in 2007 when asked by guests at a wedding reception if she planned weddings for a living.  This was after she kept excusing herself from the guests' table to go to the kitchen, speak with the bride and groom or check on the delay of the champagne toasts.  She had done numerous events and weddings for friends and families for over 20 years prior to that day, but a light bulb turned on due to that one question.  Greatest of Days still plans weddings on a case-by-case basis, teaches event planning classes to engaged couples, small businesses and organizations hosting events.  Janis founded and organized a wedding and vendors networking group and also officiates for non-denominational weddings.  Greatest of Days has also expanded to planning Celebration of Life events and finds it most rewarding.  Greatest of Days was one of the first Wedding Planners in Washington State to be interviewed and accepted to be listed as a vendor on the www.EnGaygedweddings.com site.  All submissions have to be approved and can be edited before appearing on this wedding resource for the LGBTQ community.

Next on the list is finishing a book! 

Greatest of Days website

Where you'll find Greatest of Days.

Where Did That Come From? Untold Wedding Traditions.

"Now Where Did That Come From?" 

I've promised to give tips, trends and tools for weddings and other events.  I've been thinking that maybe I should add to that list, traditions.  Isn't that really where a lot of the conflicts come in when planning a wedding?  I'm not speaking to cultural traditions though those can be huge, but at least you know where they are coming from.  I'm speaking to those traditions or mindsets that people have that show up when a bride is planning a wedding.  Odds are they can't even tell you why they are so insistent on these issues!  Here are a few.

"You should___",

"On our side of the family we do___"

"Why are you doing that?"

"What? You're not doing ____!"

"That's interesting!" (We know that means a thumbs down)

"What would your ____ think!"

These tidbits are just small sampling of the little darts that get tossed toward a bride planning a wedding.  Can you feel the pressure building?  Do you think she's going to eventually react or hold some resentment along with a smile?  More than likely.  Weddings are by far the most emotionally charged occasion considering that they are supposed to be happy.  

I hate to break it to people, but how things go through this process, might be just a glimpse into your future.  So consider it as part of a learning curve.  Chances are things will calm down until the next major step comes along.  In your younger years as you enter marriage, you just have to expect the next round.  Oh, that could be so pleasant, too.

"When are you going to have kids?"

"You're only having one?"

"You've got a ___ when are you going to try for a ___?"

"You're going to have how many?!" 

I would suggest rather than swallowing a bitter pill, go for the best medicine ever made and make sure you get addicted to it!  It is that wonderful medicine called laughter!  Things get better!  No one pressures you that much to retire or break a hip.  So look on the bright side!

Wishing you the greatest of days!

http://www.greatestofdays.com/

www.greatestofdaysweddingsandevents.blogspot.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkKIjSu9dbA

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Accepted as Guest Blogger for GatheringGuide.com

To sign up for our weekly E-zine "Wedding & Event Dialogue" click on this link.  http://www.greatestofdays.com/e-zine.html

Featured in: Not My Mother's Wedding, blog for Mothers of the Bride

Founder of South King County Event and Wedding Vendors

The 6th largest Wedding Vendors networking group in the world through Meetup.com.

http://www.meetup.com/South-King-County-Event-and-Wedding-Vendors/

http://www.greatestofdays.com/testimonials.html

What Every Entrepreneur Could Learn from a Bride

What every entrepreneur could learn from a bride as a client could possibly change your perspective on how to serve any client.

I wish that every entrepreneur no matter what field of work they are in, could experience the camaraderie that we find in the wedding industry.  I honestly thought it would be dog-eat-dog when I started my business! It has been just the opposite! 

Ninety-nine percent of the time I see wedding vendors eager to help each other.  Everyone wants to find the perfect match for their client's personality, style and budget.  Wedding professionals work extremely hard working very long hours all week, and are often away from their families for weekend upon weekend.  Most people don’t know how many hours go into each aspect of helping a client with their wedding.

Here are some things that wedding professionals have to consider and I’m wondering if other entrepreneurs would see a difference in how they serve clients if they had to examine their services in the same light.

Customer's Memory of Their Experience.

Wedding professionals are creating a day that their clients will remember for the rest of their lives..for better or for worse!  

Don't Make Assumptions on What Your Client "Should" Know.

Generally a wedding is something that clients have never planned before nor have they experienced anything that will change their lives so drastically. Many times they have no idea where to start and can’t visualize or begin to express what they want.  You have to help them find their own words.  

You Only Have One Shot!

There are no re-do’s.  That wedding day is the wedding day.  

What Has  Possibly Influenced a Client's Perception about What You Do?

Wedding professionals deal with the whole family, on both sides.  We learn the dynamics of both families and often see what has helped shape our clients into who they are.  It gives us an understanding or a feeling of compassion for our clients and their behavior.

Emotions  Expressed Are Not Always Linked to What a Client is Really Wanting to Express.

Brides, grooms, the wedding party, family, friends all can experience a wide variety of emotions.  It can even be very much like grieving.  Fear of the unknown such as a mother wondering about whether she is “losing” her daughter/son or even a best friend fearing that their friendship will never be the same or might end at some point.  Seldom do the emotions get expressed in the right manner, to the right extent or at the right time.  They are just what they are!  We have to prepare our clients for what might happen.

You Can't Please Everyone All the Time!  Expect Monday Morning Quarterbacks.

There’s a time period that is kind of a let down after so much has been focused on the wedding.  This is when wedding professionals are more likely to be “Yelped” whether it is fair or not.  You could say, “The honeymoon is over!”

Customer Loyalty/Referrals.  How Sweet It Is!

Happily ever after for wedding professionals is when we get to help yet one more client create this once-in-a-lifetime event.  Each wedding is different and it feels like we are gaining another friend.  You really do get emotionally involved and always wonder how they are doing.

Greatest of Days feels that planning a wedding shouldn’t feel like a part time job to a bride who is probably already working hard. A bride and groom might have college bills to pay off, have little vacation time accrued, and certainly don’t have time to research for the best prices, hidden costs, or find the venue or vendor that will be the best match for their personality, style and budget.  Time is money!  Especially if a bride or groom have a business to run and a wedding to plan! That gives overwhelm a new meaning!

After being asked if I planned events for a living, it made sense to try doing what I love to do which is to plan and design events. I'm all about inexpensive creativity to make something look better, add meaning or humor to relax a client.

Wedding Planners Cost Too Much!

Let's dispel some myths here since we're getting into the season where everyone seems to have gotten engaged or is getting engaged.


In two hours of time your assignment is to get 3 of each category of photographers, DJ's, cake designers and floral designers whose work you are familiar with, who you really like as a person because they have your style down to a "T".  On your mark, get set...stop!!  I can hear you say, "How in the world am I supposed to do that in two hours?  That's 12 people and how would I know all of that information about them?"  


This is how it happens.  I would say that most wedding coordinators could do just that after they had a 1-hour consultation with you.  They would also have enough information at that point to suggest other vendors and a selection of venues in a very short period of time.  


There's another exercise to do now.  Let's say that you didn't use the above system to plan your wedding and did all of that research whenever you had some extra time during the evenings and weekends and when you could sneak in a few minutes at work.  You realize after you count the hours during the week or month that you have just taken on a part-time job..planning your wedding.  You may have even had to take a day off, that you really wanted to spend on your honeymoon, but instead you spent that day trying to find just the perfect invitations and still didn't find what you liked.  You feel like you see less of your fiance' than ever.


That is the kind of scenario that really makes me sad.  I catch myself hearing a couple's stories who might be half-way through planning their wedding and it makes me cringe.  I can't help it.  I think to myself or out loud, "I sure wish I'd been able to speak with them sooner!  I could have saved them so much time and money."  


I know what you're probably thinking.  How in the world can a Wedding Planner save you money?  Aren't they only for rich people? They act like snobs in the movies!  Not for me.  No way!  


Reality differs from Hollywood once again.  Wedding Planners can pass on to you the discounts that vendors give to them because they have that "know, like and trust" relationship already established.  Sometimes the discounts are 20% and they add up fast in a good direction! 


Another reality strikes again and you find that you saved or almost saved as much in those discounts to pay for your Wedding Planner.  It doesn't stop there. The rest is gravy.  You also know that you have a liaison with vendors, your venue and sometimes even your family and friends if problems come up.  You also know that your Wedding Planner is going to have her eyes on you and your guests on your wedding day to make sure they are comfortable and not working on your wedding day.  This scenario is especially true with a full planning package where everything has been designed from the beginning to fit together like pieces of a puzzle.


Let's see, where would you rather be 6 months from now.  Still trying on shoes for your wedding or walking on a beach in sandals?

Janis Flagg, Owner

Greatest of Days
Event & Wedding
Planning and Design
Wedding Officiating

27111 167th PL SE, STE 105-242
Covington WA   98042
Cell:  206-604-1908
http://www.greatestofdays.com/
http://www.greatestofdaysweddingsandevents.blogspot.com

If you are a wedding vendor, join the South King County Event and Wedding Vendors through http://www.meetup.com/
A very special guest will be speaking on January 27, 2011.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkKIjSu9dbA

If you know someone who is planning a wedding, give
them the gift of information by telling them about
Bridal 4-1-1 Wedding Workshops beginning in March 2011.
Creating Memories to Bring a Smile to Your Face for Years to Come!

http://www.bridal4-1-1workshops.com/

http://www.fostergolflinks.com/sites/courses/view.asp?id=305&page=7050
Trendy Events and Home of Betta Mansions
1903 Market Street,
Tacoma, WA 98042

Wedding Planning is Full of Emotional Decisions

All decisions are made on an emotional level no matter what the situation is.  That is why it is even more important to listen to brides by first making them comfortable to discuss their wedding.  There's no such thing as a stupid question, a weird idea nor a dream that should be given up on before it has had a chance to be heard.  I love to surprise brides with putting in an element they didn't think they could have for their wedding.


Wishing you the greatest of days!

Janis Flagg, Owner

Greatest of Days

Event and Wedding Planning and Design

Wedding Officiating

http://www.greatestofdays.com/

http://www.facebook.com/greatestofdays?ref=ts

http://greatestofdaysweddingsandevents.blogspot.com/

27111 167th PL SE, STE 105-242 Covington WA   98042

206-604-1908

"Creating Memories to Bring a Smile to Your Face for Years to Come!"

Serving South Seattle, South King County and North Pierce County

If you know someone who is planning a wedding, give them the gift of information by telling them about Bridal 4-1-1 Wedding Workshops beginning in March 2011.

Wedding Reception Tip #1

When setting up your reception area, set up the cake table first.  You don't want your cake waiting in a car, being handled by anyone but a pro, and never want to have to move it once it is in place.


Wishing you the Greatest of Days!


 http://www.greatestofdays.com/services.html

10 Questions for the DIY Bride

If you want to plan your wedding yourself, you can save yourself a lot of headache and stress by attending workshops that are put on by vendors.  I would equate it to the saying "an ounce of prevention is work a pound of cure".  You can never have too much information just as you can never be too prepared for any project that is going to require a lot of people, time and money!

What!?  A wedding being compared to project management?  Yes!  It's all in the details, and the unexpected, contingency plans and so forth!  People will tell you how to plan until they are blue in the face, but if it isn't working for you, then step back take a deep breath and allow yourself to devise a plan that is geared more to your style.

Ask yourself these questions:

1.  Am I a checklist kind of person?
2.  Am I a person who prefers to have everything categorized by color?
3.  Am I a person who has to have a committee for everything? (Your strength comes from being surrounded by people and their ideas).
4.  Am I person who can get a lot more done if I can just go someplace to concentrate where it is quiet?
5.  Am I planning my wedding to please everyone else, and is that causing more stress?
6.  Do I thrive in a high energy environment?
7.  Do I find it easier to learn by seeing things, hearing things, touching things, feeling things or even smelling things?
8.  Am I running like crazy but feeling like I'm getting nowhere fast?
9.  Am I juggling family, career and planning a wedding?
10.  Am I just finding everything too expensive and getting more discouraged by the minute?


If you can answer some of these questions, identify with some of them and feel a sense of relief, I have a tool that might help you get focused.

If you are a bride-to-be, you can go to my website http://greatestofdays.com/contact.html and put "planning" in the comment section and I'll email you a pdf of my "Visionnaire".  If you follow my blog, I will update you with tips to help you plan a stress-free wedding.

Help for Brides Who Never Expected That Planning a Wedding Would Be So Stressful!

If this is you, give yourself some credit.  You have just taken on a part-time job and possibly one of the more major projects you will plan in your lifetime.  You probably want everything to be perfect, but perfectionism can get in the way of everyone having a perfect time on your wedding day.  That might sound backwards!

If you find yourself saying, "I should do this or I have to do that, try re-phrasing it just a bit and see if you feel better.  Try instead saying to yourself, "It would be preferable if I did this or did that."  Don't be surprised if something doesn't seem quite as important or essential.  This might help you reassess what is truly important to you or if you are just following what you think is assumed of you.

If you have someone who is putting some pressure on you to do something that would only add more stress, try saying something like "I would prefer not to." This helps to put the gears in neutral long enough for you to catch your breath and show assertiveness without being rude.  It's merely stating a fact.

Another thing that will get you through many rough spots, is a sense of humor.  Will whatever is stressing you out be important 50 years from now?  Probably not.  One thing is certain, worst case scenario, you'll be saying for years something like, "It wasn't funny then, but we've laughed about it so many times since."  You might need something to contribute when people you meet in the future talk and laugh about their wedding "horror" stories.  The goal is to have things go as well as possible, but not let the little things ruin your day!  (Note-- with a Wedding Coordinator, you probably won't even know what went wrong, because we take care of it without it interrupting your day.)

I'll share some things about my own wedding that took place at my parents' home.  I couldn't convince them to remove one of the hanging lamps in the living room.  It was my uncle who traveled the farthest who stood up into the lamp when I was walking down the aisle.  I kept apologizing every time I could for years to where it became funny.  I also found out the day after our wedding that I had thrown my toss bouquet onto the roof.  I had wondered why no one was following us and didn't quite know what to think.  Didn't anyone care?  Everyone was busy trying to figure out how they were going to get the bouquet down from the roof!!  Embarrassing?  Not for long!  Funny memory for a long time?  Yes!  If you don't want anyone chasing you, throw your bouquet on the roof!

Also, the more relaxed you are, the easier it is going to be on those you love enough to have asked them to be in your wedding.  This is an adjustment period for everyone, so just relax and have a good time.  You still want to have everyone on friendly terms after the wedding.

Wishing you the greatest of days!


Janis Flagg


www.greatestofdays.com
http://www.facebook.com/greatestofdays
206-604-1908
jan@greatestofdays.com


We coordinate so you can celebrate!

Brides, Grooms and FIL's Paying for Weddings.

Many brides and grooms are paying for some if not all of their wedding expenses.  I like to think that Greatest of Days is unique in that I offer a free consultation to the bride and groom which is pretty standard, but I also offer a free hour of consultation with the parents particularly if they are paying for a wedding.  There are even occasions where I'll step in when a desperate mother says, "Can you talk to my daughter?" and just as often when a bride says, "I wish you could tell my mother that!"

There's a reason for this, and it is all in the effort to have a stress-free wedding day and the many days before that planning for that big day.  Reality is seldom perfect and planning a wedding can be stressful on more individuals than just the bride and the groom.  Stress can rear its ugly head on an emotional level, a financial level, and a level I'll call, "Where in the heck did that come from?"

I'll show this in various extremes.

Scenario #1.  Imagine Princess just became engaged to be married.  She has a sense of entitlement and always has.  She has either gotten almost everything she has ever wanted or feels that her day has finally come where she can at last have everything under the sun.  If parents are on the same wavelength, then that's fine.  Where the problem comes in, is when the parents simply cannot afford their daughter this luxury.

Scenario #2.  Mom and Dad have all the money in the world and quite often along with it brings control  and power.  Mom always wanted her daughter to have the wedding she never had and now she sees it as her turn to get the wedding she wish she had had.  When a bride or groom states a preference for any particular aspect of the wedding, they just might hear, "As long as I'm paying for it, you'll do no such thing!"

Scenario #3.  "I think you shoulds" which can start sounding like nails on a chalkboard.  All things become new again, but people have ideas that really take the cake sometimes.   I remember both my mother and my husband's mother doing this routine when we were choosing the music for our wedding.  The songs meant nothing to us and when there was a song recommended about sunshine when I knew the wedding was in December in a very rainy climate.  If "Look at the sunshine" had been sung, everybody might have walked out to go look for it!  My Mom thought it would be nice to have a song sung that she liked.  Never mind the fact that I had sung it for countless friends' weddings, even with a former boyfriend!  Not happening!  We ended up rearranging a song that we liked by changing a few of the words and the tempo.

This is where I feel I can make a big difference in how things progress up to and at the wedding.  It's all psychology!  I'll talk to a bride and groom and go through with them what all is involved and how the costs can creep up.  Basically, it's bringing them into the reality of the parents who are paying for the wedding.  Secondly, in the case of the Penny Pusher Power Parent, I can speak with them and find out without them knowing, what it is that they are really dealing with.  Quite often its a bad memory or a vision of how they wanted their own wedding to be like that never happened.

Never forget that a parent can be feeling a big dose of separation anxiety, but would never admit to it.  If a parent has entirely wrapped his or her life around raising children, they could very well feel like they are wandering into unknown territory.  What people don't understand, they fear.  What they fear becomes an unrealistic expectation or misinterpretation.

In one sentence.  Everyone wants their feelings and concerns validated.  I have a heart that's big enough to hear both sides and two shoulders to be cried upon.  If it ends up with everyone smiling a genuine smile on the wedding day, I'm happy!  Worth every minute of listening!

Wishing you the greatest of days!

Greatest of Days
Event and Wedding Planning
www.greatestofdays.com
jan@greatestofays.com
206-604-1908

Brides First! The Honest Truth Might Surprise You!

 When I hear generalizations about what brides want for their weddings, it almost makes me cringe.  A wedding is not something that is dished up from a menu.  First off, who I am to know what a bride wants until I have spoken with her and perhaps her family at some length?  That is the most important part in my mind when offering to plan a wedding.  Listening!

I have to laugh when someone says, "Doesn't a bride always choose her (fill in the vendor) first?  A photographer can think she chooses a photographer, a bakery thinks she chooses her cake first, a venue manager will think that it is a venue.  People will also ask me if I have a preferred vendor for this or for that particular service.  I tell them, "No".  The client is so important and I don't want to match a bride up with a vendor that I think she will be uncomfortable with.  People have actually said to me, "Brides don't really care about decorations that much, or this or that, do they?"  To one bride it won't be important, but to another bride it might mean everything.  I figure it's my job to be led as well as to lead.

Planning a wedding is an emotional experience on many levels.   When a bride is consulting with her vendors, I want a bride to feel like she is walking through the door of her own home, wearing an old pair of comfortable shoes and talking to a good friend who knows what she's going to say next but listens as if they can read her mind.  I must explain further, I would never say that a vendor is purposely going to make anyone uncomfortable.  I think I happen to know some of the most amazing vendors who do a wonderful job and I have the greatest respect for them.  But, I'd compare it to thinking back to school and who was your favorite teacher.  There was something about that teacher that touched your heart, made you feel important or inspired you.  That's what I feel it should be like with various vendors and that doesn't happen accidentally.  

A bride will know when she is comfortable with a vendor or not, but why put her through unnecessary stress when you've gotten to know her likes and dislikes first?  If I sense that she is intimidated by opinionated people and would crawl into her shell and end up settling for something she didn't like, I'd feel terrible.  If she is bursting with ideas, I know she's going to want to talk to someone who will validate her ideas and get excited along with her and share her vision.  If she is so nervous about absolutely everything, then I want to put her in the hands of someone who is comforting and has no problem being patient and understanding and be willing to do a little hand-holding.  Again, I must say that most vendors are passionate about what they do and go out of their way to make a bride feel comfortable, but not all personalities match.

Would I myself ever turn a bride down?  When we first started our business, I will admit that I didn't feel like I could turn anyone away, and it's still difficult at times because I genuinely am a people person.  Just like my Dad!   A bride doesn't want to be treated with disrespect and neither do I.  I used to  reschedule an appointment  when a bride missed her first and second scheduled consultations.  Now I don't.  If a second scheduled initial consultation is missed, I figure that it just isn't meant to be.   I will of course call to make sure she is okay and that nothing happened to her.   I know that my time is valuable and I do not want to risk having this be a pattern for the next year or so.    

Those of us in the wedding profession wouldn't be in it if we didn't absolutely love it.  Sometimes that is the best of it and the worst of it!

Wishing you the Greatest of Days!