A Book is Born! "Wedding Planning Unmasked!"

Introducing "Wedding Planning Unmasked!"

The Story of Why I Wrote a Book on Wedding Planning

Why would I do that when there are already zillions of books on wedding planning?

I wrote "Wedding Planning Unmasked!" because I noticed that there was a knowledge gap between couples planning a wedding and them knowing what wedding vendors could or should do for them. People don't plan a wedding every day. Couples might know someone who has planned a wedding, but it's unlikely that they know 16 professional wedding vendors hired for an average wedding. Even if they did, they couldn't just get their keys, open their offices and do their job. It's not their fault, but not much is out there to guide couples for consulting with each type of vendor.

It helps couples to know what kind of services vendors provide, how they can save them money, and what questions you need to ask each vendor. Friends might give advice but it does not come from the point of planning your wedding. Every couple deserves productive and comfortable consultations to make sure they get what they envision or understand why something might not fit their budget. There is something awkward (but perfectly normal) about a consultation that begins with "What's your budget?" and "How much do you charge?" Information is powerful. Coming from a base of knowledge also gains respect from and for everyone involved.

"Wedding Planning Unmasked!" was written from interviewing many wedding vendors from many types of services. They were kept anonymous so that they could reveal the good, the bad and the ugly that they felt was important for couples planning a wedding to know. It was not written with checklists that pretty much leave you on your own, put you into a box, or make you do things you don't even need to do. There are very useful lists of questions in the book and some pretend conversations to help get through wedding planning to eliminate as much stress as possible.

Take a look here at "Wedding Planning Unmasked!" on Amazon.

Here's to unmasked wedding planning! Get ready to explore the art, science, logistics, and psychology of planning a wedding.

P.S. if you read the book, please leave a review or see even more ways that Greatest of Days can help couples plan a wedding. We will do live workshops, webinars, coaching calls and of course, full planning! 

Event-Changing Event Vendors Who Are Often Overlooked

All too often people who plan their own events are unaware of vendors that could make a huge difference in the success or the stress level of their social or business event.  For weddings, the most common regrets include not hiring a wedding planner or a videographer.  Statistics show that they are also the last vendors to be hired.  In fact, the most common time for people wishing they had hired a wedding planner is the day before the wedding or the day after the wedding.  

I dare say, that the same applies for any type of event.  People avoid hiring event planners because they think it will cost too much money.  In reality, (same with my own clients) people are surprised at how much money event planners actually save them. This happens through connections that the event planner has such as with new venues that are offering deep discounts, knowledge of options that are just as effective but cost less, knowing which questions to ask that can save thousands of dollars, helping people set priorities and stay with a plan.  Even using the wrong word can make all the difference.  Event planners also know what their clients are probably assuming about what is included in a vendor's services and chances are, it is more likely wishful thinking rather than fact.  A mistake not made is money saved.

What does daycare have to do with it?

I want to mention some vendors that people seldom, if ever, think about that would make a huge difference in the stress level on the day of their event.  Most commonly, we think of events as weddings, but I want you to stretch your mind to any event you might be planning. Let's begin with onsite day care.  If you don't think that addition will increase your Rsvp return rate, think again. There are people who will provide licensed day care at your event.  Some of them only work at events!  Some colleges have programs that can also help people out with providing onsite daycare.

Just imagine the gratitude for this service being offered at a client or employee appreciation event!  Literally, any event that involves parents with children.

How in the world are dogs, wedding ceremonies and honeymoons related?

We all know how crazy pet owners are over their furry family members with four feet. Who hasn't seen a picture of a dog playing the role of ring bearer?  Has anyone wondered what the role of the dog is after that or who is going to take care of them? There are pet sitters who will deliver your dog to your wedding and stay long enough to take the dog back to a person's house or at their facility.  This is especially helpful if the dog is going to be boarded there during a couple's honeymoon.  

It might be harder to think of this service being offered in a business setting.  Now that would be one perk many employees would appreciate.  Paying for your employee's pet care while they are on business trips?  A person can dream, can't they?

Who's going to help set up and tear down?

We know that for almost every task a person dreads doing, there is someone who loves doing that same thing, and you can hire them.  Set up and tear down at an event is a big one!  For large events involving family and friends, I have to warn the client that in reality seldom do these people live up to your expectations.  Add alcohol to the mix and you really diminish your odds of having help at the end of any event.  

Think beyond custodial services.  There are companies that will help you set up the tables and chairs, decor and the things that make you exhausted before your event even starts.  If you are saving money on a venue that does not provide those services, these people are worth their weight in gold.

Bridezillas and Their Replicas! Beware!

Bridezillas and Their Replicas,  Beware!

Yes!  You think weddings are expensive?  Well, Zillas of all types, you have inadvertently or not, contributed to this for two primary reasons.  Wedding vendors are seldom wealthy and have a lot of hidden costs, so putting up with bad behavior just makes whatever profit they have made not worth the trouble.  So they either quit or raise prices.  Supply and demand effects any industry.

Unless you've been around the wedding industry a lot, you would not know how many vendors, who can provide their services to other types of clientele say, "I don't do weddings anymore!"  This can range from planners, florists, photographers, caterers and so forth.  They usually say that there's just too much drama, clients who think that they should get everything for nothing, and engaged couples and their families are getting ruder and sometimes violent when they are just trying to do their job.  I've seen it all myself!  Couples will also come up with the craziest excuses to not pay for services. If they heard that message from their own bosses, they certainly wouldn't appreciate it, but it's okay in many couple's minds to do just that.  People outside of the industry are generally surprised to hear what we put up with in the wedding industry.

Bridezillas, if you think about how you like to be treated at work by customers or co-workers, then imagine how people feel when they are doing their best to make a wedding the best possible.  However, if you have not communicated as your vendors have requested, make frequent changes, fail to relay important information or especially make last minute changes, you are asking for something to go wrong.  It's that way with everything in life.  If a bride tries blaming everyone else,  whether it be friends, family or vendors, that sets the tension to a higher level for the whole day.  If a bride rolls with the punches and is half-way gracious, the atmosphere is completely different. Everyone picks up on that energy whether it be positive or negative.  

What seems to have caused the bride/guest zillas problem?  They show inexcusable bad behavior ranging from words to temper tantrums towards family, friends or anyone who is involved with the wedding.  What has made this behavior seem acceptable in many people's eyes?  

The problem is big enough to come up at industry and networking meetings.  The question that's asked is, "What do we do with all of this bridezilla behavior and even their friends and families?"  The general conclusion is that about all they can do to tolerate it is to raise prices.  

I would attribute the bridezilla or other zilla behavior to several factors, and I know that other vendors share my opinion on this.  

1.  It probably starts with what is taught as acceptable behavior when dealing with people in general from the time they were young.    

2.  Many people of the generation that are getting married now, were in general given whatever they wanted.  Perhaps they have been dreaming of their wedding day for years.  That's nothing new, but more recently it's been with a different mindset of entitlement.  I've heard of brides saying, "But it's my wedding!"  So vendors are supposed to just hand out their services like candy on Halloween?

3.  The media with all the "reality" shows paints a dream wedding that few people can afford, but having been used to getting what they want, they can't accept that the same can't be theirs.  The "reality" shows thrive on drama, but that does nothing to help a real wedding go smoothly where everyone can still be friends at the end of the day.

4.  The media, especially the one that is named after "perfect vision" (in the form of numbers) broadcasts sensationalized shows that paint the industry with a broad brush that does not come close to matching what I've seen of hundreds of vendors.  They spend most of those shows comparing apples to oranges.  If their purpose is to educate the public, they are actually doing a disservice to the public by misrepresenting the industry.  Other shows piggyback off of those shows and perpetuate the myth.

Let's not forget the wonderful clients who we would gladly adopt as family.  The ones who appreciate our efforts and treat us as professionals.  I've had more of them than the bridezilla variety.  Those clients have usually not had the easiest lives and are far from anything like a spoiled brat.  They couldn't be more opposite than that.  Like anything else, it's the few bad apples that can ruin the whole batch.  You might have even heard teachers say that they remember the really nice students and the ones who were just the opposite.  The same principle could apply to weddings.

Wishing you the greatest of days!

Click here to learn about our upcoming podcasts on wedding planning on our "Engaged!  What's Next?" Facebook page!

  

2014 Client Appreciation Event

2014 Client Appreciation Event 8/23/14.  Our clients will be receiving an invitation very soon!

As We Remember Your Greatest of Days!

We might have found you a place to host your one-of-a-kind celebration.

We knew you wanted the perfect place to laugh, dine or even dance in.

Perhaps we helped you through saying "I do" and signing on the dotted line.

It could be that we found the perfect DJ so everyone would have a good time.

It could have been that we enjoyed a special day as we all said "Mazel Tov!"

For many a wedding, we cleaned up the mess after a splendid send off!

We might have even found you a photographer or a florist to match your style.

Perhaps it was a magician or a face painter that made you gasp or smile.

Maybe we found a luxury portable bathroom, which everyone mentioned for days.

You surely needed some signs to help everyone go this way and that way.

Your guests sighed, "We found it!"  as they spotted that customized banner.

Maybe we found people to help make your party complete and unlike any other.

We've shared in your wonderful moments many times from beginning to end.

You remain in our hearts forever and instead of a client, you became a friend.

It's YOU who we want to celebrate at our 2014 Client Appreciation Event.

Only this time you can relax completely and we're paying the rent!

JF

What Requires 16 Businesses and is 16 Hours Long?

I'm not even sure if it takes 16 or more businesses to build a house.  Well, maybe if you include all of the government agencies involved.  Most weddings take 16-20 vendors.

Couples going through the process of planning a wedding are often shocked at how many businesses they use to bring their wedding day to fruition and well beyond the wedding day.  Wedding checklists often don't list everyone that will end up being hired in one form or another.  There are so many varieties of just about every vendor category and every year we see different aspects added to weddings.  Couples are definitely in to making their day unique.

Yes, the average wedding takes 16-20 vendors.  Most people think of the venue, cake, photography, food, "the" dress or dresses, just off the top of their head.  Soon they find out that there are a lot of smaller choices to be made.  Often they are the things that take a lot of time leading up to a decision such as invitations.  Who knew they could all be so different?  I've never seen a couple not add on aspects to their wedding day beyond what they originally planned.

The people who don't think they need a DJ are often the most disappointed on their wedding day!  I-Pod weddings shouldn't even be compared to the services of a DJ.  They are the eyes and ears to your entire event.  An I-Pod cannot read a crowd to keep the party going or announce that someone left their lights on or is parked in a fire lane. 

Some of the more obscure vendor categories that people wouldn't have thought of several years ago are commonplace now.  For example, photo booths! And a photo booth is not a photo booth!  They vary quite a bit in the types of services they offer.  It goes beyond props and pics.

There are some categories of vendors that people wouldn't have even thought about such as a Ben and Jerry's ice cream truck or cart.  I can't even tell you what a hit this is on a hot summer day and it appeals to kids of all ages.  At one of the weddings I was hired for, can you guess who made their way to the cart more than any one else? Guys over 50!  Since when does this age and gender category have a good time at a wedding?  I heard a lot of "I tried that flavor in a cup, now I'll try it in a cone!"  There was a lot of foot traffic mostly from people saying, "I tried that flavor now I'm going to try this other flavor".

Weddings might begin with a ring purchase, but postage stamps, on site childcare, a dog-sitter can often be forgotten as services that are part of building a wedding.  

As far as time involved on a wedding day, 16 hours is not uncommon.  Depending up on how many attendants and couple have needing makeup and hair styling, you could very well start out at least by 8:00 AM and it's not long after that that the seating and tables are being put together and decorated.  Photographers document the whole process and the only thing they don't photograph are the guests eating their meals.  DJ's often are the last ones to leave a wedding....unless there's a wedding planner involved.  We're almost always the last to leave as we drive home at night often smelling like we've have alcoholic beverages when we haven't.  How does that happen?  It's because we have the wine soaked linens in the back of the car around midnight or 1:00 AM.

I'm attaching my notorious vendor wheel in which I have purposely left out some crucial vendors that every wedding needs.  Tell me if you can discover who is missing!  OKAY, you don't need Santa Claus, event surveys or incentives.  Hint:  Suffice it to say that a wedding as represented by this wheel would not be happening, and some guys might be a little embarrassed.  Rentals alone can sometimes be more than one vendor.

Wishing you the greatest of days!

"Wedding Day Tour Guide", Greatest of Days Wedding Day Timeline

Here's our video on our "Wedding Day Tour Guide!"

You won't miss any information if you turn the sound off because there isn't any narration, but there is music. 

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Weddings and Money

Money Talk!  Wedding Vendors and Brides and Grooms, All!

 

Sometimes, well...I should say more often than not, money can be a difficult subject to talk about. Often it is considered to be a taboo subject, but when it comes to weddings it is a must-have conversation.  

 

From a wedding vendor's perspective

 

When planning a wedding one of the first questions that couples will often ask is "How much does it cost?"  Many times it is because they don't know of any other place to start a conversation.  So as wedding vendors, sometimes we need to take a chill pill.  My answer is that everything is so customized that an answer can only be developed after I've spoken with a potential client.  

So depending upon how you word it or the tone of voice you use, this is how wedding vendors could interpret that question!  Vendors will feel like this person wants to bleed them dry and don't really care about how much work they would put in to do a good job for them!  They can tend to feel that a couple is just price shopping and is not recognizing how their work could be completely different from another vendor's work.

 

From a wedding couple's perspective

So where does the subject of money become awkward to a potential client?  It probably would be when a wedding vendor is asking, "What is your budget?"  This also is a very important question, but often it is feared by brides and grooms to mean, "They're going to take it all if we tell them!" That's not true.  The budget determines what you can do and will force people to set their priorities.  

 

From both sides now...

 

The wedding industry sometimes gets accused of raising the prices for the "W" word.  I don't see that happening among vendors I know.  It is true that weddings are much more involved and complicated than other types of events, and they definitely have a more emotions involved than other types of events.  I think that in reality, it just feels to couples planning a wedding that everything costs a fortune because they are discovering that there are so many details that need to be taken care of and paid for than they ever imagined.  As in any consumer transaction, if you are respectful and appreciative, you will probably have a much better experience.  Quite possibly they'll throw in some extras.  If you approach a vendor with a defensive or aggressive attitude, they might just tell you to take your business elsewhere.  If they are going to be working with a grumpy client for a year, they would probably just as soon not have your business.

 

The average couple has no idea how much time goes into what professionals do for a wedding. They don't just show up on a wedding day.  How could they and why should they?  They haven't done this before and even if they have, things change constantly.  As with any profession, you are paying for a skill which is preceded by education, investments of time and money and followed by many hours of hard work.  One thing that I say with 90% certainty, wedding vendors are doing what they love to do.  That is priceless!  Also remember that they are running a business and wearing so many hats like any other business owner.  Seldom, does a wedding vendor get rich doing what they do.

 

A good thing to remember is that if everything was easy, always possible, took little time and we could learn everything there is to possibly learn, there wouldn't be any industries out there. The same holds true for the wedding industry.

 

One thing that we must never forget as wedding vendors.  It isn't just another bride, another groom, another mother, sister or friend we are dealing with.  This is a very emotional and probably one of the most anticipated day in their lives so far.  We can't always show our emotions but that doesn't mean that we can't show how much we care.

Wishing you the Greatest of Days!

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What You Need to Know When Other Vendors Offer to Plan Your Wedding!

When you speak to a wedding vendor for your wedding, there is something that should put you on alert.  It's not intentionally a bad thing, but beware.  When a wedding vendor other than a Wedding Planner says, "We can plan your wedding for you" they are only partially seeing the vision of your wedding and will not be able to intercede for you on your behalf like a Wedding Planner will throughout the planning process and on your wedding day.  I wouldn't pretend to be the professional to safely prepare your food or operate the equipment that a DJ has invested money and time in.  I wouldn't pretend to get your flowers done in nearly the amount of time a florist could.  I do know that a Wedding Planner sees all of the finer details that others just aren't used to looking for and knows how each segment is part of a complete picture.  Wedding Planners take away the worry wort factor.  We are on the lookout for what can go wrong, but hopefully a bride won't even know until after the wedding what was an issue.

A venue coordinator's primary responsibilities are to the venue and their staff.  A caterer's responsibilities are for the food and they seldom stay for the whole wedding reception especially off-site caterers.  A DJ is hired for a specific reason to provide music and facilitating entertainment and more than likely will be your emcee and seldom is able to leave his or her post.  

Why do they say that they can plan your wedding?  It's not necessarily just to make money, but I think that many of them really think that they can do Wedding Planning and that they are helping a bride!  Granted, they are extremely familiar with weddings and very professional in what they do.  However, I feel that these vendors are not doing a good service for the bride nor to themselves as vendors by saying that they can plan a bride's wedding. I want you to know what to look for when a vendor volunteers to plan your wedding.

This is the picture!  On the wedding day itself, these vendors and other have their own job to do.  They will have their own set up and tear-down to take care of and are not going to be able to take the time necessary to make sure that all of your contracted vendors are on schedule, know if they are having problems in traffic and then able to help them with their setup.  

Prior to the wedding day, what these vendors consider to be wedding planning is not going to include accompanying you to consultations with their selected vendors which is what a Wedding Planner will do for you.  They probably won't be selecting vendors based on your personality, style and budget for each and every category of vendor you need.  More than likely they are only thinking of half a dozen vendors when in reality it takes 16-20 vendors for the average, a not-many-frills wedding.  It's understandable that they think only of the vendors that are actually a part of the reception, because that is what people primarily think of as those involved in a wedding or what has to be planned for a wedding.  

There are so many vendors that are behind the scenes even months prior to the wedding and some who have a role only after a wedding.  Everything from invitations, finding selections of makeup artists or hair stylists that will come to the venue, a calligrapher, pre-marriage counselors, etc.  Will you want a caterer or florist coming with you to shop for wedding dresses?  Don't worry, they won't.  

There are also some very unique vendors that they probably have not run into.  Do they know multiple people who specialize in daycare at weddings?  Do they know 3 people who play bagpipes?  Do they know where to find and know how a business operates that has horse-drawn carriages?  Will they check to see if your venue is within trotting distance from a place where the horses can set up for your carriage ride to the venue.  They might know a harpist, but do they know one that can actually bring magic out of the harp and have everyone dancing to rock and roll music from the harp?  These categories might be on the more unusual side, but if somebody wants even the oddest category of a vendor, that is what we as planners thrive on.  We have an insatiable curiosity to know what is out there for making a wedding unique just in case a bride might ask for that type of vendor.

Sorry, but here are more questions.  Do they know the things that each of their suggested vendors needs to optimally perform their individual tasks?   Are they aware of all venue rules? Are they prepared for answering all of your questions at any time you have them about your wedding?  Will your vendor who says they can plan your wedding be willing to look at each and every contract.   Aside from consultations, are they going to be willing to meet each vendor prior to the wedding on those selected vendors' schedules at the venue to help them get familiar with the layout and where they are going to fit into the larger picture?  That would include the photographer, the DJ, the rental company at minimum.  Normally a client has to take time out of their busy schedules, but a Wedding Planner will do this save you a lot of time which you'd rather save for the honeymoon or money to stay in your paycheck. Wedding Planners primarily work on weddings while these other vendors also have other types of events that they do or concentrate on even more than weddings.  For example, many caterers and others count on Corporate events to be their bread and butter.  Many times those events are held during times when you really need some answers.

You know I love good vendors, but I have to love brides more.  Even better, I like knowing that a bride has someone to exclusively look out for all aspects before, during and after her wedding.  Yes there is work after a wedding.  Is there such a thing as a Lost and Found Manager?   A Wedding Planner is hired for the bride, her family and her guests so that they can relax and enjoy the party knowing that a complete team has been put together just for her with every minute detail considered in the planning process.

Wishing you the greatest of Days!

Greatest of Days

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Gas Prices and Planning Weddings

I think we would all agree that gas prices are insane when all of the statistics seem to show that the prices should be going down!  Well...even if it is an oil well, it is a deep subject.  At any rate, they have a tremendous effect on the wedding planning process and the type of wedding day that is the result especially for brides who are planning their own weddings as compared to hiring a Wedding Coordinator.  You might think, "What?!  That's crazy! I'm planning my whole wedding online!"

The truth is, you're going to need vendors who you speak with in person and you're going to want to know their personality and how they interact with you as if they were really there on your wedding day.  You don't want your vendors to fall into the category of being close to that of an uninvited guest!  Until weddings just become virtual events with no one ever showing up except to view your wedding on a screen and there is no celebration afterwards, you will have to meet your vendors in person eventually.  Or you should!  I have a theory that I extend as a guideline to brides.  That is, if a photographer makes you feel uneasy and doesn't make you smile while you are just having a consultation with them, you're shouldn't hire them for your wedding!  In all fairness, this goes for ALL of your vendors!  Why?  Communication and interpretation is key to a trouble-free wedding.  Just as much as you want to get to know your vendors, they can only do their best job by really getting to know you!

Wouldn't it be nice if all of your vendors knew your personality, style and budget or could look at your face and within a split second have the perfect idea for your wedding pop in their head!  Those light bulb moments become the ingredient that make you wedding unique!  You're thinking that no one know my personality, style and budget!  Repeat that again!  No one knows my personality, style and budget!  Well, guess what?  That is in a nutshell what a Wedding Coordinator does!  Your Wedding Coordinator gets to know you with the focused intent from the first minute they speak to you.  The whole time he/she is having a conversation with you, the foremost thought in their mind is "who will they want to get to know, like, trust and who will best match their personality, style and budget?"  That's it!  You just can't get all of that without meeting in person.

Back to gas prices.  Yes!  Gas prices.  When you have someone who is doing multiple layers of screening for you and knows countless vendors, as a Wedding Coordinator does, and can pass on discounts or great prices to you that you wouldn't get normally, you win! You have just saved a lot of money and time and stress!  Ask anyone who has hired a Wedding Coordinator..not just a friend or relative, but ask someone who has hired someone who does this for a living!  I would suggest you consult with at least two Wedding Coordinators before you hire one.  More than any vendor, you need to be comfortable with them and just plain like them!  Take into account that they will save you money and the more you use the skills of a Wedding Coordinator, the more you save.  Let them help you!  I know you will be pleasantly surprised!  Best of all, your wedding is more likely to be what you expected it to be on price and quality.

Wishing you the greatest of days!

Greatest of Days

Event and Wedding Planning and Design

27111 167th Pl. SE, Suite 105-242

Covington, WA   98042

206-604-1908

http://www.greatestofdays.com/

www.greatestofdaysweddingsandevents.blogspot.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkKIjSu9dbA

If you are a wedding vendor and would like to boost your wedding business,

here is a link to valuable answers on how to do just that.  

http://tinyurl.com/3dfgdsz

Featured in: http://notmymotherswedding.com/

, blog for Mothers of the Bride

Founder of South King County Event and Wedding Vendors

The 7th largest Wedding Vendors networking group in the world through Meetup.com.