Planning a Wedding is a Time and Money Balancing Act

Balancing Money and Time to Plan Your Wedding

1.  Truth #1.

The reason why weddings seem so expensive is because there are so many moving parts and elements that need to be put together.  They all cost money.

We all excel at different things and absolutely can't stand other types of chores, jobs, duties, etc.  The same goes for planning a wedding.  Why spend your valuable time on something you hate.  I know that with the DIY craze, it would be easy to fall into that trap that gets bigger and bigger.  The trap that comes from saying, "I can do that myself!"  Yes, maybe you can, but do you love doing it?  If not you're likely to add unnecessary stress.  

2.  Rephrase your stress points.

If you catch yourself saying, "I need to do this" or "I need to do that", rephrase it to "it would be preferable if I did this or that".  Surprisingly, it lowers the priority a little or even makes you think it's not necessary to do the "this or that" at all.

3.  It's okay to let go!

I've read somewhere that the average (usually a bride) spends the equivalent of 7-1/2 weeks of 40-hour work weeks planning a wedding.  That is a lot of time and energy.  It takes some of us longer than others to realize that it's okay to hire some things out and realize we can't possibly come close to being as talented as the professionals in all of the categories we need.

4.  Time Management and Planning.

The things that couples don't realize when they are planning a wedding is that a lot of the DIY projects take place very close to the wedding.  Especially the flowers, making your own cake, etc!  Regarding the flowers, it doesn't matter whether they are of the "wear and carry" or "decor" categories..they take up time when you least have it.  That's not even including the tasks that people procrastinate on, constant interruptions and all the mini celebrations that are taking place at that time.  

5.  You only get married once.  Ideally!

If it's difficult for you to think about hiring tasks out, think again.  You wouldn't expect to be able to put braces on your teeth by yourself.  We hope we only get married once so you shouldn't have to justify handing out some headaches.

6.  Invest where it counts.  Determine your "dreads!" 

You can hire people to do everything from addressing your invitations, keeping track of RSVP's, cleaning up after the wedding, childcare on site at your wedding, theft protection with coat-check companies who will guard your gifts and your guests' possessions.

My biggest suggestion would be to hire a "Day-of Coordinator".  (there really is no such thing which is to your advantage).  A "Day-of Coordinator" actually does most of what a Wedding Planner does except find vendors for you.  You will want to look for one who will contact all of your vendors, verify your contracts to see if your plan actually matches what is in the contract, will tour your venue, conduct a rehearsal (might cost extra) and do their best to inhibit behavior from anyone that could risk you not getting your deposit back.  They will create a realistic timeline so that they day flows smoothly since they know the wedding industry and what the vendors need to do a good job for you.

Wishing you the greatest of days!

Check out our other programs for couples planning a wedding or needing wedding officiating, individuals planning events and businesses who want to market through hosting events.

If You Are the Second Daughter to Get Married, You're Lucky!

If you are the second daughter to get married in a family, to a certain extent, you will benefit from all the lessons learned from the first wedding.  The rude awakening is that no two weddings are alike.  With sisters, often their weddings are polar opposites.  I understand perfectly why that is.  I have a sister!

I've noticed something about people who hire wedding planners.  What would that be? At some point in the initial consultation with a parent, they will say, "This time.....!" That is usually followed by we are not going to be having a stressful day and do everything ourselves.

I had one mother say all she wanted to do was to shop for a dress that she liked, and the next thing would be to sit down at the wedding!  That's pretty much what happened. The bride and groom were reluctant to hire a wedding planner and then she said, "Then it's going to be your wedding gift!"  They thought that she should save that money for something else for the wedding.  Within a month of being hired, they said it was the best decision they made!  That same couple along with their father mentioned me during the toasts, thanked me and said that they never could have had their wedding without me. Her father recommended that other people with upcoming weddings use my services.  I was so thrilled and taken aback.  I was also very tired!  It was an outdoor wedding on a very hot August day!  

I will never forget that moment, and it has kept me sane through the "not so pleasant" bridezilla types--which I won't even take on or keep as clients anymore.  They are out the door!

Cherish the good memories, right?

Wishing you the greatest of days!

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People Who Don't RSVP for a Wedding..or Any Event!

These types of people hold a very special place in my heart.  Not the nicest part.  Definitely not from the bottom of my heart!   

Do they have an idea of the agony they cause for someone planning an event.  Not only does a person planning an event have added stress when they least need it, the RSVP count or lack of is costing them money.  Yes, MONEY!  Guessing on a final guest count is costly.  Nothing pains me more than seeing a couple a week away from their wedding looking like volunteers at a call bank for a fund raising for public television.  "We were wondering if we could count on you for your support?"  Well,  kind of like that!

A tip for those planning an event!  Make sure your last table number is for those who might possibly show up but haven't sent in an RSVP!  It's only fair that they not be served in the same manner as everyone else.  They should be the last ones the DJ calls to the buffet line.  Never should anyone who DID send in an RSVP be scraping the bottom of a chafing dish!  

Enjoy Table #0 for the ______.  Trying not to say "Zero's".

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Where Did That Come From? Untold Wedding Traditions.

"Now Where Did That Come From?" 

I've promised to give tips, trends and tools for weddings and other events.  I've been thinking that maybe I should add to that list, traditions.  Isn't that really where a lot of the conflicts come in when planning a wedding?  I'm not speaking to cultural traditions though those can be huge, but at least you know where they are coming from.  I'm speaking to those traditions or mindsets that people have that show up when a bride is planning a wedding.  Odds are they can't even tell you why they are so insistent on these issues!  Here are a few.

"You should___",

"On our side of the family we do___"

"Why are you doing that?"

"What? You're not doing ____!"

"That's interesting!" (We know that means a thumbs down)

"What would your ____ think!"

These tidbits are just small sampling of the little darts that get tossed toward a bride planning a wedding.  Can you feel the pressure building?  Do you think she's going to eventually react or hold some resentment along with a smile?  More than likely.  Weddings are by far the most emotionally charged occasion considering that they are supposed to be happy.  

I hate to break it to people, but how things go through this process, might be just a glimpse into your future.  So consider it as part of a learning curve.  Chances are things will calm down until the next major step comes along.  In your younger years as you enter marriage, you just have to expect the next round.  Oh, that could be so pleasant, too.

"When are you going to have kids?"

"You're only having one?"

"You've got a ___ when are you going to try for a ___?"

"You're going to have how many?!" 

I would suggest rather than swallowing a bitter pill, go for the best medicine ever made and make sure you get addicted to it!  It is that wonderful medicine called laughter!  Things get better!  No one pressures you that much to retire or break a hip.  So look on the bright side!

Wishing you the greatest of days!

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Wedding Planning 101, R.S.V.P. Defined

R.S.V.P.  ( répondez s'il vous plaît) or Respond Please!  Why this is so important (and frustrating) for anyone planning a wedding or other event!  Here's some RSVP 101 and my devious ideas! 

  

Does anyone understand the significance of this?  They might not!  That is, until they are the ones planning an event.  It comes down to showing a host the common courtesy of knowing whether you are going to be attending or not.  For a wedding, it can influence the costs tremendously!  Most people think that it's just the cost of the food.  That is the biggest concern, but a lot of people don't think of the extra costs that a bride and groom might incur because they want to make sure that no one goes hungry or doesn't have a place to sit.  Here are some extra expenses you might not even think of in addition to the food.  If a person doesn't have an accurate count it can add to wasted money on tables, chairs, chair covers, chair sashes, tablecloths, napkins, glassware, stemware, centerpieces, cutlery, etc.  These things do not always come automatically with the catering.  (More on that in another newsletter!)  When people don't RSVP by a certain date is causes unprecedented stress on the bride, groom and their families when they least need it!  They already have enough things on their minds and have the extra weight due to other's lack of courtesy.  

If only you could put in the invitation...if you don't RSVP and you show up, you will be sitting on the floor, be the last ones to be called up to the buffet line, wish you had brought a plate, eat the food with your fingers, wipe your mouth on your sleeve, go thirsty...and be roasted, (oops!) toasted during the reception.  Maybe you can just give the name of the town where the wedding will be and not give the location of the wedding until they RSVP.  I've never thought of that before! Hmmm. You could make them get up and dance during the reception, but instead of dancing to Y-M-C-A, you could make them do the same only to the letters R-S-V-P.  It's your party, you can do what you want to!  8)

Wishing you the greatest of days!

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Now Where Did that Come From?

I've promised to give tips, trends and tools and trends for weddings and other events.  I've been thinking that maybe I should add to that list, traditions.  Isn't that really where a lot of the conflicts come in when planning a wedding?  I'm not speaking to cultural traditions though those can be huge, but at least you know where they are coming from.  I'm speaking to those traditions or mindsets that people have that show up when a bride is planning a wedding.  Odds are they can't even tell you why they are so insistent on these issues!  Here are a few.

"You should___",

"On our side of the family we do___"

"Why are you doing that?"

"What? You're not doing ____!"

"That's interesting!" (We know that means a thumbs down)

"What would your ____ think!"

 

These tidbits are just small sampling of the little darts that get tossed toward a bride planning a wedding.  Can you feel the pressure building?  Do you think she's going to eventually react or hold some resentment along with a smile?  More than likely.  Weddings are by far the most emotionally charged occasion considering that they are supposed to be happy.  

 

I hate to break it to people, but how things go through this process, might be just a glimpse into your future.  So consider it as part of a learning curve.  Chances are things will calm down until the next major step comes along.  In your younger years as you enter marriage, you just have to expect the next round.  Oh, that could be so pleasant, too.

"When are you going to have kids?"

"You're only having one?"

"You've got a ___ when are you going to try for a ___?"

"You're going to have how many?!" 

I would suggest rather than swallowing a bitter pill, go for the best medicine ever made and make sure you get addicted to it!  It is that wonderful medicine called laughter!  Things get better!  No one pressures you that much to retire or break a hip.  So look on the bright side!

Wishing you the greatest of days!

Janis Flagg began her business in 2007 after years of helping plan many weddings, anniversary celebrations, milestone birthday parties, Red Hat Society (super fun!) events and even celebration of life events. Her belief is that events should be stress-free and bring a smile to your face for years to come no matter what the event is.  At a wedding in 2007, she was asked by some guests if she did wedding planning for a living. When the bride and groom thanked her for helping make the wedding exactly the way they wanted it, that was the catalyst for "Greatest of Days". Janis has a knack for personalizing events without adding costs to an event and wants every event to have her clients' names "written all over them!"  When Janis is in business meetings with other business owners and they ask, "If you could have any job or career you wanted, what would it be?", she responds "I'm already doing it!!"

 

Janis also founded and is the organizer of South King County Event and Wedding Vendors which is a networking group for people in the industry.  It was founded in November of 2008 and rapidly grew to 240 members and is still growing.  She has hosted experts in the field to benefit the members businesses and loves connecting people with vendors/venues to help their businesses succeed.