Don't Think You Need a Wedding Rehearsal? Think again!

If You Think You Don't Need a Rehearsal, Think again!

First, here are some definitions for you and terms of reference.  Also, Bride and Groom are interchangeable with the word couple.  

The Processional is the part of the wedding when typically the officiant, the groom, all of the attendants including the ring bearer and flowergirl proceed to the ceremony or altar area followed by the bride with whomever is giving her away.

The Recessional is the part just after the couple is introduced to the "audience" when the couple first leaves the stage/ceremony area/altar followed by the bridal party and family.

Here are some benefits and recommendations regarding rehearsals:

Rehearsal Benefits (processional and recessional)

1.  It helps calm everyone's nerves feeling that they have a good idea of what will happen leading up to, during and immediately after the ceremony on your wedding day.

2.  On your wedding day, the fewer questions you have to answer the better.  You don't want everyone bombarding you on your wedding day.

3.  It will give you an idea of timing your processional to the music.  Even though a DJ often cannot attend a rehearsal due to possibly having multiple weddings on a weekend, you need to discuss options for timing of your processional.  Your DJ might want to preview the venue with you months or weeks in advance of the wedding, if they haven't worked at your venue.  Timing can be effected with  the length of the aisle and the number of people (alone or in pairs)   walking up to the ceremony area.  

4.  It's not uncommon for people in your wedding party to be complete strangers to each other.  They get a chance to at least recognize each other's  faces on the wedding day.

5.  Practicing the recessional is important, too.  As a rule of thumb, I recommend that following the ceremony (after being pronounced to their new status and after they are introduced to everyone) that the newly married couple gets to walk the full length of the aisle before the rest of the bridal party.  This allows every opportunity for them to be photographed at the first moments of them walking down the aisle with their first steps or happy dance as a married couple.  Next to go down the aisle would be the Maid of Honor and Bestman who would walk halfway down the aisle before the next pair of the bridal party begins walking.  

6.  If you have any major announcements, the most important people in your wedding are there.  They can be your ambassadors to spread necessary information to others on your actual wedding day.

Recommendations:

1.  Make sure you are evenly spaced at the ceremony area.  I sometimes start the rehearsal with everyone at the ceremony area first.

2.  To make the pictures look nice, it should be predetermined that the guys have their hands placed in front of them or behind their backs.

3.  Anyone carrying bouquets should place them (in simple terms) at their belly button!  The exception would be if the bridesmaids were cradling a larger single, long-stemmed flower to the inside of their elbow instead of a bouquet.  (in the crook of their arm but still, they should look uniform during the ceremony).

4.  It looks nicer if everyone stands to form a slight arc and not look like little tin soldiers.  If everyone takes a half step sideways towards the "audience" and slightly angles to be looking at the officiant and couple, it looks good but it also is important to be able to see subtle clues from the officiant during the ceremony.  It sometimes helps to line up on the stage or ceremony area so that attendants can have eye contact with their counterparts.  For example, the Best Man and Maid of Honor would be able to have eye contact and the same with everyone else down the two lines.

5.  If for some reason one of your attendants, is unable to attend the rehearsal, make sure that the person that they will be walking with them is introduced to them on the wedding day.  Preferably they are introduced in advance of pictures that are often taken prior to the ceremony.  Whoever was able to be at the rehearsal should fill that person or persons in on what is going to take place during the processional, how everyone is going to be standing during the ceremony and the same with the recessional.

6.  It's not a bad idea to ask people to not treat the night before your big day like it's a bachelor or bachelorette party.  What they drink that evening directly influences the wedding the next day.  Nothing wastes the rehearsal or mars a wedding more than one or more of the wedding party getting drunk.  It's time for everyone to at least pretend to be mature and respectful but still have fun.  

Order of a processional for a traditional modern American ceremony.  It can vary from one religion to another, be customized or adapted depending on the venue layout.  Nothing is written in stone anymore for most weddings, but it's nice to have some guidelines.  Neither the order of seating nor the recessional is shown in the diagram.

Wishing you the greatest of days!

The Surprises to Crafting a Wedding Ceremony

My husband I both officiate for non-denominational weddings.  It is a true joy to be able craft a ceremony that has special meaning that comes from the depths of a couple's hearts filled with love.  It can reflect their personalities, idiosyncrasies, special moments in their courtship, their hope of building a beautiful future together and so much more.

One thing I can say is that, almost without fail is that when we first ask questions at the initial consultation, they will say something along the lines of "I guess we never thought of that!"  It can pertain to whether or not they want to repeat the vows to each other or just want to say "I do".  Sometimes it's when we bring up what the issue of what they would like us to wear.  We explain that we don't want to clash in the pictures, or appear overdressed or underdressed for the type of wedding they wish to have regardless of whether it is a themed wedding or not.

Here is the big surprise!  The one thing that seems to get the longest pause is when we ask them how they would like to be introduced after they are pronounced husband and wife. They usually look at each other with a puzzled or awkward glance.  Perhaps this is when reality hits them and the bride seems to feel like she has to make a final decision on whether she is keeping her name or not.  We will generally list a few options for introducing them as husband and wife to all of the guests at their wedding.

Just a few examples that might be added after stating, "It is my pleasure to introduce to you for the first time as husband and wife...

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Smith
Michael and Michelle Smith
Michael and Michelle
Michael Smith and Michelle Jones
Michael Smith and Michelle Jones-Smith

The best part is seeing the looks on their faces as I pronounce them as husband and wife.  It's that once in a lifetime moment that gets me every time!  What an honor and privilege it is to be able share this moment.  It brings a smile to my face every time, but then again, I'm smiling all the way to the wedding just thinking about the couple and being so happy for them!  No kidding!

Yes, I must say, I love officiating weddings!  I do, I do!

Wishing you the Greatest of Days!
www.greatestofdays.com

What do you mean by officiant?

You can go online and anyone can become an officiant if they register through Universal Life Church to fulfill the legal qualifications to become ordained and choose whatever title you prefer from a selection of categories.  Many people do it just to be able to perform wedding ceremonies for friends or family.  You have to promise to honor all beliefs and comply with all state laws.  In Washing State, you have be ordained through some church.  It's about 10-minute process through ULC which has been around since 1959.  We could do any kind of ceremony, but we stick to weddings.

My husband and I have both gone through ULC to be able to officiate for weddings.  I enjoy helping people design their wedding ceremony.  Many people just want a very small wedding, have mixed beliefs in their families, don't want to go through months of counseling through a church so an officiant is a great solution to these situations.  Some people are widowed or divorced and don't want to go through all the pomp and ceremony that come with traditional weddings.  We have performed wedding ceremonies where there were hundreds of people, however.  Some people choose an officiant simply because they want to be able to customize their ceremony more than what they could in a regular church.  We let family members of friends of the bride and groom participate in any of the religious aspects to the wedding.  We choose to remain very neutral.

I won't speak to other states, but there are only two lines (never seen or met anyone who performed this type of ceremony) that are necessary in Washington State to make a couple legally married.   The, Do You?, Do You? (questions to make sure they aren't entering the marriage under duress), and then pronouncing them as husband and wife.  Really, that's all!  We would do those too, if people wanted it that way, but people like to personalize it.  We avoid ceremonies that take on the feel of a theatrical performance rather than a solemn occasion.  Speaking from experience, we were disappointed to get a review on not being theatrical enough.  Sorry, that is not why we do perform wedding ceremonies!  At that same wedding, people said it was a wonderful ceremony.  Go figure!

Some people choose an officiant to make it a legal marriage and then have a more elaborate wedding (sometimes even with an officiant) months or years later when they can afford a bigger wedding, when someone has returned from being overseas, or any number of reasons.

You won't believe this, but when we say that we can officiate, some people really think that we are qualified to officiate at sporting events!!   No!  That's a totally different game!!

You should always check into your own state's laws.

Wishing you the greatest of days!






@http://www.greatestofdays.com
http://www.facebook.com/greatestofdays
206-604-1908