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Monday, January 3, 2011

Wedding Planning and Help for the Mother of the Bride.

Hello to Moms and Brides!

If we are married, we all remember when we were planning our weddings and maybe it felt like Moms did some crazy things.  I often hear from those who are of the age to have children getting married now, that their mothers did everything and they didn't really have any say in what their wedding was like.  That wasn't always the case, but it can have some rather unpleasant results when it's the next generation's turn to get married.  Can you guess what happens sometimes?  Yes, you got it!  The very same thing, intentional or not, pops up out of nowhere all over again, only this time with a lot more struggle.

First of all, I think that the mother-daughter relationship can be one of the most complicated relationships.  Even when they have a wonderful relationship, it can be one of those things that cannot be put into words.  With that said, we tend to only hear about how horrible the mothers of the brides are.  No one is all good or all bad.  Is it just easy to give the mother of the bride a little more bad press because they'll do anything for their kids?  That's not to say there are some really obnoxious mothers out there.  I have a few memories of my own mother being less than kind and words that still sting when I think of them.  We've all heard of the generation gap, but wouldn't it be nice if there was a nice bridge or better yet, a path created through a beautiful meadow of flowers between Mom and daughter?  I think there is!  There's no excuse for rude behavior on either one's part, but it just might happen.

When a parent is primarily paying for a wedding, after I've spoken with the bride and groom, I will offer an additional hour of complimentary consultation with the whomever that parent(s) might be.  If they are primarily paying for a wedding, remember that even a modestly-priced wedding can cost more than one or more of their first cars they bought.  This is a very emotional time for mothers and brides, but if they have the tools to get through the wedding planning process together it can be a completely different experience for all involved.  During these consultations I can help each "side" understand where the other is coming from and relay that from a neutral stand point.  One thing that Wedding Coordinators over the age of 45..ahemm.. benefit from is that we have seen and experienced things through multiple generations.  With this comes wisdom, if we have studied all the nuances of each generation and are open-minded.  We all base our adult lives on what experiences have shaped us and that is going to be different for everyone.

In a nut shell, it helps so much if I can relay to the bride that Mom and Dad may not have every dime in the world even though she might be the princess and has almost always gotten everything she wanted.  On the other hand, if a parent has the purse strings, it is not their wedding and those strings should not strangle and dictate what the wedding is like and end up being a wedding day that the bride and groom really won't hold as a day of pleasant memories.

I would suggest a an investment worth it's weight in gold.  Check out

As always....

Wishing you the greatest of days...and happy planning!

Janis Flagg, Owner

Greatest of Days
Event & Wedding
Planning and Design
Wedding Officiating

27111 167th PL SE, STE 105-242
Covington WA   98042

If you are a wedding vendor, join the South King County Event and Wedding Vendors through
A very special guest will be speaking on January 27, 2011.
If you know someone who is planning a wedding, give
them the gift of information by telling them about
Bridal 4-1-1 Wedding Workshops beginning in March 2011.
Creating Memories to Bring a Smile to Your Face for Years to Come!

Betta Mansions
1903 Market Street,
Tacoma, WA 98042

1 comment:

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